When you separate, you will likely receive advice from family, friends and colleagues – whether you have asked for that advice or not. People will tell you what you should or should not be doing, ranging from opening a new bank account to parenting your children.
Often, this advice comes from a place of love and support. Where the advice delves into legal matters, there is a risk that the information you receive is generic and not actually applicable to your specific situation.
Your former partner may have views about how your separation should work and how you should each approach the next stages of dividing finances or working out the children’s arrangements. For example, your former partner may say to you something along the lines of “let’s work it out between us and not get lawyers involved”. They may propose that you divide everything equally, or that the children should live with you in a week-about arrangement because it is “only fair”.
Whilst it is beneficial to remain amicable and co-operate with your former partner upon separating (if you can and if it is safe), this does not always mean that they are looking out for your best interests. Sometimes, an outcome which seems ‘fair’ might actually be completely inappropriate for your children depending on their age and specific needs, or it might leave you financially disadvantaged if you do not understand your legal rights and entitlements.
It is not unusual for us to see individuals who have been told not to see a lawyer; and for them to subsequently find out that their former partner has actually seen a lawyer themselves.
At the initial stages of a separation, or even if you are contemplating whether to separate from your partner, you should enter the ‘information gathering’ phase. This includes finding out what assets, liabilities, superannuation and financial resources you and your former partner have. You should also think about what specific needs your children have and whether you can each respond to those needs. Seemingly innocent requests can sometimes leave you in a difficult situation, for example with respect to who moves out of the home or how you meet ongoing expenses.
Seeing a lawyer, even for a one-off meeting, can be helpful to better understand your rights and obligations when separating. A lawyer can advise you about the information you are entitled to and what you should be considering when you are negotiating a property settlement or parenting arrangements. A specialist family lawyer can also advise you about how the Courts approach a property settlement or parenting arrangements, which can inform any agreement you ultimately reach.
Importantly, seeing a lawyer does not mean that you are bound to engage that lawyer on an ongoing basis or that you are going to go to Court. There are many alternatives to Court and it should usually be a last resort. Mediation is compulsory before going to Court in many instances, including in parenting matters (where there is not urgency or safety concerns).
If you are at the initial stages of separation, or if you are contemplating your next steps prior to separating, we recommend seeing a specialist family lawyer to understand more about the process, your rights, entitlements and obligations. All information is kept confidential and your lawyer will advise you about recommended next steps. To arrange an appointment with one of our experienced family lawyers, please complete the enquiry form below or call us on (02) 6225 7040 or email at info@rmfamilylaw.com.au, or get started now online.